“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
– Jesus, Matthew 5:4
“Those who do not weep, do not see.”
– Victor Hugo
Consider how quintessentially human tears are. Not basal tears, which nourish, shield, and lubricate our corneas. And not reflex tears, which wash away irritants like dust, smoke, or onion fumes. Such tears we share with many members of the animal kingdom. But emotional tears, which are triggered in response to sadness, joy, fear, anger, and other emotional states. Those tears are uniquely human, connected with our human loves, delights, and sorrows.
I observe an ambivalence in our society concerning tears and their sibling, crying. A generation ago, we might have heard a parent chide a child by saying, “Stop your crying or I’ll give you something to really cry about.” Such phrases are less common today but you may still hear, “Don’t cry. It’ll be okay.” Consider what we compare crying with: “I cried like a baby.” “I blubbered like a fool.” “I was so upset, I ugly cried.” Crying is often viewed as a negative.
At the same time, many have experienced the positive and cathartic power of tears. You’ve probably heard someone say, “I just needed a good cry. I feel so much better now!” In his book Great Expectations, Charles Dickens wrote, “Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried than before–more sorry, more aware of my ingratitude, gentler.” There is no question that tears help us humans process deep emotions, work out our griefs, and release pent up sorrows.
We know of at least two times during the life of Jesus in which he shed tears. One was following the death of his friend Lazarus in Bethany (John 11). Before he called Lazarus back to life, he shared fully in the grief of Lazarus’ sisters and friends. The other was as he approached the city of Jerusalem toward the end of his ministry. “As he came near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “If you, even you, had only recognized on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes.” (Luke 19:41ff) Not for nothing was the title “Man of sorrows” in Isaiah 53 applied to Jesus.
Sadly, I think I had most of my tears socialized out of me by childhood messages such as “Big boys don’t cry” or “Don’t be a crybaby.” But I strongly believe in the value of tears. Sometimes, we cry for joy in the face of sheer beauty, as when a groom tears up to see his bride walking down the aisle, or when a mother holds her newborn child for the first time. Sometimes, we cry hard tears when “we must weep amid the fires of pain” or as we endure experiences of grief and loss. Through all our kinds of tears, may we remember the beatitude of Jesus and his promise that God’s tender comfort in the kingdom of heaven awaits those who mourn.
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